


firelight is best for stories

by introductions



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Gen, General Antics, Halloween, Storytelling, it's a mess, iwaoi - Freeform, kagehina if you pay attention, oikawa is a bad storyteller, same with bokuaka, some spooks, stupid kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 19:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/introductions/pseuds/introductions
Summary: “Oikawa-senpai,” Hinata points out, “this isn’t really that scary.”“And you’re obvious,” Iwaizumi adds. “You didn’t even change our names.”“For that, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa huffs, “I’m going to kill you first.”or: oikawa’s a really terrible storyteller. but don’t tell him that.





	firelight is best for stories

**Author's Note:**

> i laughed way too much while writing this. it's not that funny, but it _is_ ridiculous. mostly unedited and all over the place, but i had a heckin' good time. 
> 
> i'm on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/conclusions_twt)!

The night was a cold one, and it stung the cheeks of Oikawa Tooru as he got out of the car. Oikawa shivered, the moonlight only making him more beautiful as it hit his face perfectly through the remaining leaves on the trees.  

  _(“Wait wait wait! Where’s everyone else? Why are you just describing yourself?”_

_“It’s called_ storytelling _, Chibi-chan. Now be quiet.”)_

Sawamura Daichi rolled out of the car, grumbling like an old man, followed closely by Iwaizumi Hajime, permanently in a bad mood and ready to beat up Oikawa for no reason at all. But he really liked Oikawa in reality, but since he was emotionally constipated and stupid, he never said it. 

Then came a small boy that everyone mistook for a sixth grader, affectionately called Shrimp by his senpais. He proceeded to run laps around the van, clothes and toiletries falling from his backpack as he did so. He was shortly joined by Bokuto Koutarou and his boyfriend, Akaashi. Nobody really knew why or  _how_ they were dating, because they were polar opposites and Akaashi-san could honestly do  _much_ better, right? 

_(“Was that a compliment, Oikawa-san?”_

_"It’s a genuine question. How do you put up with him and maintain your sanity?”_

" _Hey, I’m sitting right here_ ,  _Oikawa!”_

" _Oi, Shittykawa, can you cut the descriptions and just get on with it? We’re suffering enough already.”_  

 " _So rude, Iwa-chan, so rude.”)_  

Next in line in the circus procession came everyone’s favorite freak genius, Kageyama Tobio-chan. He liked to think he had the dark and broody persona down pat, but mostly he looked stupid and annoying. Which brings us to last person in this rag-tag group: Sugawara Koushi, the saving grace (besides Oikawa), their own personal angel mother who cared way too much about the first years, for some reason. 

“Let’s go inside,” Sawamura grunted, hefting his bag onto his shoulder and grabbing Suga’s as well—he was always doing unnecessarily chivalrous things like that—and moving toward the cabin. He squinted at Tobio-chan and Shrimp, who were locked in some kind of headlock-embrace that  _looked_ like they were fighting but was how they showed their love—kind of like three-year-olds with emotional constipation. 

“Goddamn kids,” Sawamura muttered as he put the key into the lock. 

( _“Wait, why do I have the key?”_

_“Yeah, why can’t_ I  _have the key? Why does Sawamura get the it?”_  

_“Koutarou, it’s not a competition.”)_  

—which of course fit because it was his parents’ cabin up in the middle of the woods, not scary or haunted at all, thank you Sawamura's parents for lending it to us. 

(" _That seems too convenient.”_

" _Tobio-chan, I didn’t ask for your opinion.”)_

Sugawara ushered the children inside while Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa out of the way because he was _mean_ like that. Sawamura grumbled some more about the cold and about “goddamn kids” because as the father, his favorite thing to say was “goddamn kids.” He had a lot of them, goodness gracious. 

The cabin was smaller than Oikawa had expected, and almost completely dark.  

“Let me get the lights,”  Sawamura said, dropping all of the bags he was carrying by the door. The lights flickered on overhead, illuminating the kitchen. 

“I have the groceries!” Bokuto shouted, bursting into the house. 

“You need to calm down,” Oikawa told Bokuto seriously, but because it was in Bokuto’s nature to ignore authorities, he proceeded to bounce off the walls, shouting and generally stressing everyone but Shrimp (who proceeded to join him) out. 

“I’ll cook,” Sugawara volunteered softly, and floated to the kitchen with the groceries. Within minutes, he had rice in the cooker and fish in the pan. Honestly, what a miracle worker. 

Iwaizumi, who Shrimp and Tobio-chan looked up to—kids loved Iwa-chan, which proved that he’s a big softie— 

( _“I am not.”_

" _Aww, Iwa-chan, if you have to defend yourself that means it’s true!”_

" _I hope that you get killed first, Shittykawa.”_

" _It’s my story—”_

" _Well, maybe my character gets sick of yours and murders—”)_

_—_ ANYWAY. Iwaizumi and the underclassmen got the futons set up and sat down at the katsudon (which Oikawa dragged out because it was cold) and ate their food quickly, tired from the long trip in the car. Bokuto quickly fell into a food coma, being a menace and drooling all over Akaashi like an unsightly wild animal. Shrimp and Tobio-chan were fighting over bathroom use while Sawamura planned out the hike they’d take tomorrow down to the lake. As soon as the dishes were done, everyone was getting into their futons, and Sawamura turned out the light. 

The wind rattled at the windows, the trees whipping back and forth. Branches cracked and splintered, and there was some shuffling and a quiet whimper—Shrimp was scared, because of course he was, and Tobio-chan was probably holding his hand or something stupid. 

Suddenly, there was a long, drawn-out howl. Everyone got goosebumps, and finally Oikawa, the bravest, sat up and declared: “I was _not_ the only one who heard that, right?”

“Probably an animal,” Akaashi said, always reasonable. 

“But what if…what if it’s a ghost?” Came Shrimp’s trembling voice. “Or a werewolf, or a serial killer, like in _Friday the 13th,_ or the _Evil Dead?”_

“Go to sleep, goddamn kids,” Sawamura replied. “I’m going grey because of you.” 

“Now, now,” Sugawara chimed in. “If they’re afraid, shouldn’t someone go outside and see?” 

“I volunteer Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said gravely. “He’ll protect us.” 

Iwaizumi was already preparing to hit Oikawa in the back of the head, but he seemed to reconsider when the same hair-raising wail echoed through the windy forest again. 

“Alright,” Iwaizumi said, shrugging into his jacket and shoes. “I’ll go see.” 

He left the room and they waited. Ten, fifteen, and even twenty minutes passed, but Iwaizumi didn’t return. 

Little did they know that he’d  _never return the same.The forest was hungry tonight, and Iwaizumi was only the first one._  

_(_ " _What?!”_

" _Hey, Stupid-Face, let go of my hand!”_

" _Oh my god, Kageyama, you’re white as a sheet!”_  

_“Oikawa-san, maybe take the scariness down a notch?”_

" _Aww, Daichi, where’s the fun in that?”_

_“Suga, don’t take his side—”_

_“I’m going to continue now—”_

" _Wait, why’d I have to die first?”_

" _I didn’t say you were dead, did I, Iwa-chan?”_

_“WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM THEN?”_

_“Daichi, Kageyama’s not letting go of my hand—”)_

—Eventually, the door creaked back open, scaring the underclassmen and making Sugawara gasp. 

“There was nothing out there,” Iwaizumi reported, voice monotone. _He sounds odd_ , Oikawa thought. And he would know, too; Iwa-chan had been his best friend for (unfortunately) forever, so he could do very little and get away without Oikawa knowing. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa said tentatively. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Iwaizumi interrupted, and promptly lay down on top of his futon, still in his shoes and everything. 

“Goddamn kids,” Sawamura grumbled, right on time, and rolled over. “I’m too old for this.” 

Sugawara went and did his thing with the underclassmen, prying them apart and tucking them back in. He was a little scared himself, but it was no matter—it was just Iwaizumi, Iwaizumi who wouldn’t hurt them. He said goodnight to Akaashi, already half-asleep on Bokuto’s arm. Bokuto was twitching like he was running in his dreams. Knowing Bokuto, he probably was. Sugawara let out a sigh of relief—everything was fine. The moaning had let up; they could sleep soundly until morning. 

Little did they know the horror that awaited them...

As soon as everyone’s breathing evened out, Iwaizumi—though he was no longer himself—sat up. His eyes glowed with an inhuman light, and his breath was a rattling moan, just like the one they’d heard earlier. He reached his hand up and with a movement just faster than Oikawa’s killer serve, he plunged it into Bokuto’s chest. The hand passed right through skin and bone, insubstantial, but Bokuto jerked and made a noise. I mean, who wouldn’t? He just got stabbed with a ghost-hand. Everyone would probably make noise. 

Then, like it was being drained out of him, the color faded from his skin, from his hair, from his wacky eyebrows and even his sideburns. 

Akaashi, who was a very light sleeper, noticed just after not-Iwaizumi got up and quietly slipped from the room.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi whispered, shoving his boyfriend. But Bokuto’s chest no longer rose, and his hair flopped dramatically to the side. Even in death, Bokuto was dramatic. “Koutarou,” he said, louder. He shook Bokuto a little bit, probably giving him whiplash. Wait, he’s dead—dead people can’t get whiplash. 

“Akaashi?” Sugawara asked, always the first one to check in. “What’s wrong?” 

“Bokuto—Bokuto’s dead,” Akaashi said, unable to believe it. “He’s dead, Sugawara, oh god, how did this happen--?” 

Sugawara fumbled with his phone flashlight and turned it on. Bokuto was colorless—even his eyelashes were white. His chest was terribly still, and his mouth (for the first time ever) was closed. 

( _“Oikawa, it’s almost my curfew. Can you hurry it up?”_

" _Akaashi, I just_ died.  _Aren’t you sad?”_

" _It’s just a story, Bokuto-san.”_

_“I was stabbed by a ghost!”_

" _Oikawa-san?”_

_“Yes, fine, I’ll hurry. It’s probably a good thing, too. Tobio-chan looks like he wants to cry.”)_

“I recognize this colorlessness,” Shrimp piped up, not looking very scared. “It’s the mark of a hungry spirit .” 

“And you know this how?” Oikawa asked, and Shrimp shrugged. Of course he knew—it’s the type of really weird thing that Shrimp would learn for no reason at all. 

“'These kinds spirits will never be full,'” Shrimp dutifully recited, “'though they always hunger for the human soul.'” 

“That is…strangely disturbing,” Oikawa says after a second, but Shrimp’s stupid parents and his dumb boyfriend look proud of him, like they always do whenever he does literally  _anything._

( _“Hey, Oikawa, just because you lost that game against them doesn’t mean you need to petty.”_

_“Have you met Oikawa? The second he stops being petty is the second I’ll start worrying about him.”_

" _Mean, Iwa-chan—ow, don’t just flick me! Hey! Come back here!”_

“ _...u_ _m, since they’re probably going to go make out somewhere—”_  

“ _Koutarou.”_

_“It’s true!”_

" _I’ll continue the story, don’t worry.”_  

_“Thanks, Suga.”)_

“So how do we stop it?” Daichi turned to Hinata, who was quivering with excitement. 

“We have to trap it,” Hinata said. “With salt and the branches from a sapling. To fight it off, we can use iron.” 

“We have to go back into the _woods?_ ” Oikawa asked, peering out the window and shuddering. “But… _it’s_ out there.” 

“Well, we need the branches,” Hinata said. “That’s the only way we can get Bokuto-senpai’s soul back.” 

Daichi, being Daichi, raised his hand. “I’ll go.” He looked resigned about it, but if it wasn’t Daichi, it would have to be someone else, and he’d never let that happen. 

Akaashi lifted his head from where it was resting on Bokuto’s chest. “Me too.” 

Daichi blinked, but Akaashi’s face told him there was no arguing. “Right. Okay. Hinata, can it be any kind of sapling?” 

“The younger the better,” Hinata replied. “And if it’s the needle-y kind of tree—” 

“Coniferous,” Kageyama filled in, whacking Hinata on the back of the head.  

“Right. Those.” 

With a nod, Akaashi and Daichi put on their jackets and grabbed flashlights and headed out into the windy night. Their silhouettes were quickly swallowed by the dark forest.  

“I hope they come back safe,” Sugawara said, sighing. 

“I hope they come back,  _period,”_ Oikawa mumbled. Sugawara nudged him. He was probably in a sour mood because someone besides him was being smart, and also because Iwaizumi was missing. Oikawa really did love Iwaizumi, though it didn't seem like it.

“Come on,” Sugawara said, pointedly not looking at Bokuto’s body as he stepped out into the kitchen. “Let’s go find the salt.”  

( _“Oh, oh, Sugawara-kun, can I tell this part?”_

_“Sure, Bokuto. Just don’t make it too—”)_  

BOOM! As soon as Sawamura-kun and Akaashi walked into the forest, they were whacked by million-hour winds from all directions! But that didn’t stop them! Akaashi seemed quiet, but he was really smart. If there was anyone that could defeat the ghost, it was him. 

There was a crack, like someone had punched a tree in half. 

“Did you hear that?” Sawamura-kun asked, peering into the darkness. 

“Probably just some ghosts,” Akaashi said, shrugging. He had bigger fish to fry. He started to walk forward again, pushing aside branches. Then he saw footprints on the ground! Heck yeah! They looked like Iwaizumi’s, too! Akaashi followed them carefully, but they just went in a circle, leading back to where he’d been standing a second ago. 

( _"Bokuto, they're looking for branches."_

_"Just listen. This is gonna be awesome.")_  

“Sawamura, look at this,” Akaashi said, and turned around. But instead of seeing regular ol’ Sawamura, he saw GHOST IWAIZUMI GHOST-STABBING SAWAMURA! 

If only Bokuto was here! He was a totally badass ghost fighter! But Akaashi was also badass, so he pulled the necklace off of his neck, which had an iron charm on it. Then he threw it! 

It hit GHOST IWAIZUMI right in the forehead, making a little mark. GHOST IWAIZUMI fell over with a mighty thud! Now that he was defeated, Bokuto could finally be revived! Everything was more interesting with Bokuto, of course. 

( _“You’re a worse storyteller than Oikawa, Bokuto-senpai.”_

" _HEY! Just be glad I didn’t kill your character!”_  

" _Koutarou, let Sugawara-san finish it. I think he’ll do a good job.”_

" _Thanks, Akaashi.”)_

But just as Akaashi thought it was over, Iwaizumi rose to his feet—unsteady and weakened, but the ghost still latched onto his body, refusing to let go. 

And Daichi—poor, brave Daichi—lay crumpled on the ground, color leached from his hair and skin. 

“Oh, Sawamura,” Akaashi murmured, bending down. “I’m so sorry.” 

Daichi was too heavy for Akaashi—or anyone, really—to carry, so he half-hauled, half-dragged Daichi back to the edge of the forest to where they could see the cabin. Then he went back in and got as many saplings as he could fit into his arms. 

Inside the cabin, the remaining survivors had made the salt circle and had armed themselves with as many iron objects as they could find. Kageyama had a poker in one hand and Hinata on his other arm, who had a skillet hefted on his shoulder in preparation. 

Suddenly, Akaashi burst through the door, scaring them all. He threw the bundle of sticks at them, face pale and sweaty. “It’s _coming!_ ” he shouted. “It _knows_ what we’re doing—don’t trust anyone because there’s—” 

But before he could finish the rest of his sentence, a ghostly pale hand, glowing with supernatural light, seized the back of his shirt. Akaashi let out a shout, clawing at the doorframe, but it was no use. 

The door slammed shut and silence felk over the group.  

“Should we—should we go and check?” Oikawa asked tentatively.  

“ _No,_ ” Kageyama hissed, and now it was him gripping Hinata so tightly the younger was wincing. “What if it’s out there, waiting? And what did Akaashi-senpai mean by 'don’t trust anyone?'" 

“I’ll go,” Sugawara volunteered. He walked calmly to the door and opened it, peering outside. “They’re both gone,” he reported. Oikawa let out a sigh of relief. 

“I think he’ll be back, though,” Hinata said thoughtfully. “We’re a threat—he’d want to take us all out.” 

“So then probably won't wait very long,” Sugawara said, brushing off his hands. “They don’t like the sun, and it's almost dawn.”  

Hinata blinked. “Suga-san, how’d you know—” 

“You probably said it before and forgot, idiot,” Kageyama scoffed. 

“No, I don’t think so—”  

But whatever Hinata was going to say got cut off-- 

—as Kuroo Tetsurou, the one-and-only, burst into the room, guns blazing, and saved the goddamn day. All the ghosts vanished and the girls swooned—wait, they didn’t, it’s all guys here. That’s fine too. Mostly everyone here is probably g-- 

_(“Kuroo, Jesus Christ, you’re a menace.”_  

_“Hi, Oikawa. Nice to see you too.”_

_“Has Kenma called you a cab yet, Kuroo?”_

" _Always looking out for me, Suga. And nah, Kenma’s not here. And I’m not even that drunk—stop looking at me like that, Iwaizumi, you were literally in the closet with Oikawa_ five seconds ago _making—”_

" _OKAY, I think that’s enough. Should we continue?”_

" _What were you making, Oikawa-senpai?”_

_“Making out, idiot. They were making out.”_  

_“Oh. I knew that.”_  

" _Ahem.”_

_“Oops. Sorry, Suga!”)_

So Kuroo was in fact  _not_ there , and no guns were blazing and no girls were swooning. Instead, the lights went out and the door slammed open so fast that it burst from the hinges. Oikawa screamed and started swinging his poker just as Iwaizumi, glowing and pale, appeared.  

“Hungry,” he—it—whispered. “So. Hungry.” 

And with a really loud WHAM, Hinata-kun nailed that sucker in the face with his frying pan-- 

( _“A skillet, Koutarou—”)_

—his skillet, of course, and knocked him flat! Just. Like. That! But GHOST IWAIZUMI was a beast and he got right back up. Nothing could stop him, though the iron did weaken him. Next he turned on Oikawa, who looked pretty scared—an excellent target. 

_(“Stop hijacking my story!”_

_“It stopped being yours a while ago, Oikawa-san.”_

_“Well, I’m taking it back.”)_  

But Iwaizumi would never hurt Oikawa, because Iwa-chan really did love him, right? 

It really depended if Oikawa was being a shithead or not. Mostly Iwaizumi wanted to knock Oikawa’s teeth in. Or accidentally push him off of a cliff. Or maybe push  _himself_ off a cliff. 

Oikawa thought that was very mean and contributed to the solution by whacking Iwaizumi very hard with his poker. 

“Push him into the circle!” Hinata shouted, and Kageyama and Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi into the salt circle, where he landed on the branches with a crunch. 

Writhing at the contact with the plants, the three of them watched Iwaizumi’s eyes roll back into his head, mouth twisting grotesquely. His fingers clawed at the branches, raising red welts on the skin; he tried to run, but could not cross the salt line. 

Just as he was about to collapse, Sugawara did something very odd-- 

HE LIT THE SALT ON FIRE! 

…no. 

He told Iwa-chan to grow up and be nice to Oikawa and that he was unappreciative-- 

Also no. 

He called out Kuroo’s name-- 

Kuroo is not in this story, okay? No, Sugawara scuffed the salt line with his foot and the other three could only watch in horror as the boundary was broken, unleashing Iwaizumi on them once again. 

Sugawara, too, started to glow with the same eerie white light, face going slack. 

“’Don’t trust anyone,” Oikawa murmured under his breath, the pieces falling in place. “Akaashi’s warning—there’s more of _them,"_ Oikawa said, gesturing at their long-gone friends. "That’s what he was trying to say.” 

The moaning started up again as whatever was now Iwaizumi rose to its feet, slowly backing the three of them into a corner with no way out.

Kageyama fumbled for Hinata’s hand, weapon falling from his hand. The moaning got louder and the whole cabin shook, echoing with a terrible voice. 

**Hungry. So hungry.**

The glow got brighter as hands reached for them. Lips mumbled prayers, eyes were squeezed shut. The wind battered at the cabin, tearing shingles from the roof and stripping the paint off the boards, rattling the windows-- 

—and then, everything went silent. 

And three bodies dropped to the ground, cold, unmoving, and leached of all their color. 

~~~~

“The end,” Sugawara finished proudly, sitting back on his hands. Nobody said a word for a second as they registered what they'd just heard.  

“Holy fucking shit,” Kuroo said, breaking the silence and clutching his beer. “That was actually terrifying, Suga. Damn. Who knew?” 

“I did,” Daichi volunteered. “And I warned you. I have no idea why you think he’s innocent. His stories are the worst.” 

Hinata peeked through his fingers, dropping his hands completely when he saw that people had gone back to relaxing. “Kageyama, you’re cutting off my circulation,” he whined. Kageyama’s ears turned red as he released his death grip on Hinata’s hand, ignoring Kuroo’s smirk and Oikawa’s knowing smile. 

Bokuto was pouting. “I can’t believe I _died,_ ” he huffed. 

“Everyone died,” Akaashi pointed out, patting Bokuto’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but I should’ve lived. If this was real life, I would’ve kicked that ghost’s ass.” 

“I think I should’ve lived too,” Oikawa argued. “Iwa-chan would never hurt me.” 

“Wanna test that?” Iwaizumi threatened, but it wasn’t menacing at all, because he had his arm around Oikawa and his cheek pressed against his hair. 

“Oh my god, Kageyama, you’ve got actual goosebumps!” Hinata exclaimed delightfully, grabbing Kageyama’s arm and holding it up to his face. 

Kageyama wrenched his arm away. “It’s _cold,_ dumbass.” 

“We’re by a fire,  _dummy,”_ Hinata shot back, which prompted Kageyama to jump on him.  

“Okay,” Daichi said over the sound of the first years’ squabbling. “I think it’s time people started going home. I think I just saw Yamamoto vomiting in the bushes.” 

“Goddammit,” Kuroo sighed, running a hand through his hair and standing up. “I specifically told him _no bushes_ this time, too.” He marched off, zipping his coat up to his chin. 

Hinata ended halfway on top of Kageyama, limbs tangled, and that’s where they remained, exhausted—and though they would never admit it—still a little scared. Daichi had to nudge the two of them awake, prompting Hinata to unstick his face from Kageyama’s coat and Kageyama to unlink their arms. 

As the rest of the guests started trickling out, Oikawa leaned back against Iwaizumi. 

“Some story, huh,” Iwaizumi said after a moment of quiet breathing.  

“Suga-san’s a really good storyteller,” Oikawa admitted, and, on seeing the look on Iwaizumi’s face, added, “but don’t you _dare_ tell him that.”  

“I didn’t know you were capable of giving compliments to people besides yourself,” Iwaizumi remarked, grunting at the elbow that dug into his side as retribution. 

“Suga deserves them, unlike you,” Oikawa huffed, but he wasn’t really angry, opting to grab Iwaizumi’s hand instead of hitting him.  

The fire crackled softly, the light casting their face in warm colors.  

“Hey, Hajime,” Oikawa said softly.

“Hmm?” Iwaizumi looked down, surprised by the sudden use of his first name. 

“Happy Halloween.” 

Iwaizumi laughed, pulling Oikawa closer. “Happy Halloween to you too.” 


End file.
